Whole-hearted?

Halfway or Whole-hearted?

If you're anything like me, you enjoy watching the TV sitcom Two and a Half Men, or at least their re-runs at this point. The characters are fantastic.The lines are hilarious. And the opportunities for miscommunication are endless.

The best part is, the show is relatable. I'm sure you know someone, like:

Evelyn, who has narcissistic tendencies and thinks everything you say is about them. You also probably recognize people like Charlie and Alan, who argue about who actually has to have a conversation with their self-absorbed
mother.  And, you most likely know someone like Jake, who blurts out the
truth regardless of its appropriateness in the situation.

While the show's communication quagmires can seem awkward and humorous on TV, there is no doubt you find yourself in similarly uncomfortable ones in real life. And, instead of having others laughing at your expense, there's usually an actual price tag attached-one of internal stress.

Halfway or Whole-hearted?

Taking an approach of honesty, clarity, and positivity in your communication
can alleviate that stress. Here are six habits than can generate direct,
positive dialogue in your own relationships:

1.Stay focused on the subject at hand

With so many distractions, it can be easy to be side-tracked when talking to
others. Keep your point in mind, preferably before your thoughts become
words spoken aloud. When you stay focused on the subject at hand, your
listener will be more engaged.

2.Speak in bullet points

This is like speaking in shorthand, although it doesn't have to be dry and
boring. Use flare to keep your listener interested, and allow your organized
speaking manner to enhance the understanding between you.

3.Acknowledge the other person's ideas and feelings

Even if you don't agree with the other person, expressing that you have
heard their point of view creates harmony in your communication. This shows
that you respect them as a person and value the contrast that each
individual on the planet provides.

4.Take your time

With the busy-ness of life, it can be easy to take your fast-paced schedule
into your speaking, or listening, habits. Instead, focus on your
breath-especially the exhales-during your conversations to become totally
present with the conversation at hand.

5.Say what you mean and mean what you say

The goal here is to have your mouth and your gut on the same page, meaning
when you say "yes" to something, you're actually excited. Or, if you decide
to decline or disagree, you can feel equally comfortable in your own skin.
Using first-person phrases, such as "I feel" or "I think" can allow you to
speak truthfully, and let your actions match your heart and words.

6.Develop rapport with your listeners

Rapport means harmony. Check in with the pace, intonation, and body language
of those you're communicating with, and then subtly match them. This creates
trust at the subconscious level of all parties involved.

Halfway or Whole-hearted?

 

If you're a perfectionist, you probably want to tackle all of these habits at once. This tends to go against a common sense approach to life. Instead, find one habit that you feel most strongly about, and start there. That way, you can approach your communication with a whole-hearted effort at understanding and clarity, instead of a half-way attempt to remain present.
 
Direct, positive communication is a life-long endeavor. And, thanks to our
natural social tendencies, you'll have plenty of opportunities for practice.

-Kym Coco
Author, It Just Makes Sense www.KymCoco.com
whole-hearted