The Power of Communication

The Power of Communication

There are several moments in life where we reflect back and think, 'I could have said this...or maybe if I said that it would have had a different outcome.' While our thoughts about the what ifs may run ramped in our heads, the outside world still goes round and it won't stop and rewind for us even when we really want it to. When life gets stressful or a lot is going on, many times our internal dialog takes charge and we forget about the outside world, even the wonderful people who may be right in front of us...waiting...for us to say something...anything!

There is a time and a place to mull over the mysteries of the universe, the question marks in your head, constant piles of to-dos, but don't let that internal dialog rule you! Be present. Be open. Just be.

I've learned that when I speak my mind there is power in my words.  When I speak my heart I can't go wrong. My views may change from time-to-time but if I don't say all that is in my heart to say, I might have that internal what if dominate my life. How we communicate speaks volumes more than saying nothing and hoping others will catch onto what we are thinking. While we wish all would understand us: where we are coming from, who we are, that won't happen until we communicate. This is your life. Why not live it up and make it everything you want it to be.

-Tasha Ina Church, Author of "We Are One at the Falling of the Sun"
www.tashainachurch.com

the power of communication

Whole-hearted?

Halfway or Whole-hearted?

If you're anything like me, you enjoy watching the TV sitcom Two and a Half Men, or at least their re-runs at this point. The characters are fantastic.The lines are hilarious. And the opportunities for miscommunication are endless.

The best part is, the show is relatable. I'm sure you know someone, like:

Evelyn, who has narcissistic tendencies and thinks everything you say is about them. You also probably recognize people like Charlie and Alan, who argue about who actually has to have a conversation with their self-absorbed
mother.  And, you most likely know someone like Jake, who blurts out the
truth regardless of its appropriateness in the situation.

While the show's communication quagmires can seem awkward and humorous on TV, there is no doubt you find yourself in similarly uncomfortable ones in real life. And, instead of having others laughing at your expense, there's usually an actual price tag attached-one of internal stress.

Halfway or Whole-hearted?

Taking an approach of honesty, clarity, and positivity in your communication
can alleviate that stress. Here are six habits than can generate direct,
positive dialogue in your own relationships:

1.Stay focused on the subject at hand

With so many distractions, it can be easy to be side-tracked when talking to
others. Keep your point in mind, preferably before your thoughts become
words spoken aloud. When you stay focused on the subject at hand, your
listener will be more engaged.

2.Speak in bullet points

This is like speaking in shorthand, although it doesn't have to be dry and
boring. Use flare to keep your listener interested, and allow your organized
speaking manner to enhance the understanding between you.

3.Acknowledge the other person's ideas and feelings

Even if you don't agree with the other person, expressing that you have
heard their point of view creates harmony in your communication. This shows
that you respect them as a person and value the contrast that each
individual on the planet provides.

4.Take your time

With the busy-ness of life, it can be easy to take your fast-paced schedule
into your speaking, or listening, habits. Instead, focus on your
breath-especially the exhales-during your conversations to become totally
present with the conversation at hand.

5.Say what you mean and mean what you say

The goal here is to have your mouth and your gut on the same page, meaning
when you say "yes" to something, you're actually excited. Or, if you decide
to decline or disagree, you can feel equally comfortable in your own skin.
Using first-person phrases, such as "I feel" or "I think" can allow you to
speak truthfully, and let your actions match your heart and words.

6.Develop rapport with your listeners

Rapport means harmony. Check in with the pace, intonation, and body language
of those you're communicating with, and then subtly match them. This creates
trust at the subconscious level of all parties involved.

Halfway or Whole-hearted?

 

If you're a perfectionist, you probably want to tackle all of these habits at once. This tends to go against a common sense approach to life. Instead, find one habit that you feel most strongly about, and start there. That way, you can approach your communication with a whole-hearted effort at understanding and clarity, instead of a half-way attempt to remain present.
 
Direct, positive communication is a life-long endeavor. And, thanks to our
natural social tendencies, you'll have plenty of opportunities for practice.

-Kym Coco
Author, It Just Makes Sense www.KymCoco.com
whole-hearted