 |
Follow YOUR dreams
We find ourselves constantly "following" with everyone's idea of what life is about that the majority of us don't educate ourselves. We take formal education to be "enough", then we fall in line of what our parents, society or friends are doing. Most learn after college that they still don't have the skills to survive in the real world. We paint this ugly picture filled with lack, limitations and failure that we forget who controls the stroke, holds the brush and what would give us a blank pallet.What I am trying to say here is that what you consider your "dream life" YOUR dream?....Do you follow YOUR dreams?
Well of course it is....you might say or why wouldn't be?
I found myself almost running to Atlanta around 22 to pursue my "dreams". I wanted to model and get the heck out of my hometown Seattle. I did just that and it didn't take much to find my way.
I wanted to be in music videos, work behind the scenes and be featured in XXL type mags. I did it all but the magazines but I had the opportunity to do it and then some. It came easy although there were down sides. I never appreciated any of it. I was extremely hard on myself and I knew it was not my passion. I would sometimes come to sets hung over from the night before. I never got in the gym like I should have. And then I had an AHA moment, "maybe I was doing this because people told me all my life I was pretty"...
It was a sad vicious cycle because I still dealt with major insecurities! I told myself if do anything with it to use this(modeling background) as a way for when I write this great book, that swam in my mind ready to get to land, to tell the world we can be a "video" girl, a model or whatever "negative" outlook and still be self-educated and intelligent...
Many, many attempts and cracks at unlocking the combination of what it takes to live your dream. I can now happily say, I have failed time and time again. Looking back at my 1st attempt at making that shift was when I was "in love" and moving to LA to be with my boyfriend at the time. Within two weeks I was "homeless". He was a director and now looking back with new eyes, I'd say my shift didn't fit him in this new picture I was painting. What I am saying is you're going to fail when you decide to follow your dreams. It's when you decide to change something crazy sh*t will happen and you may find some people won't fit... but most importantly who's dream are you pursuing and what is the small quiet voice inside your head telling you?
You will be going against the current sometimes going after what YOU want. When you follow YOUR dreams. The wind can sway your boat but remember who is captain! It took deep soul searching, spiritual recovery's, years of not seeing a sprout but something (I can't explain it) kept telling me that there is something much greater than what I was doing... even now I hear that voice so everyday I take a step! And so can you :)
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."- Lao Tzu
With Love,
With Love,
